Last week I dreamed I was in bed and I looked at the alarm clock
in my current real life bedroom and it said 5am, then I was in my bed
in some other room and the clock in there said 1am. I hoped the 1:00
one was right because, woo! more sleep! My alarm starts beeping at 5:33
in real life.
While in the bed where it was 1am, I heard some women talking in
the kitchen, and I said "hey! I don't mean to interrupt but can one of
you tell me what time it actually is?" One of the women stepped out of
the kitchen into the moonlight of my current real life living room, and
it was my mother, wearing the mauve dress she wore in a family portrait
we took for a church phone book ages ago, and the same mauve dress she
wore in my dream the night she died. She told me the 1am clock was
correct.
I realized at that point that she's really dead and I'm dreaming,
so I jumped out of bed and said wait! before she disappeared back into
the kitchen. She said yeah? kindly. She was very tall, like my point of
view of her was from my kid eyes. But I couldn't think of what to say,
I just wanted to stall and keep her from leaving just yet. finally I
said, guess what! I scored really high on the Miller Analogies (I
really did). And she looked at me for a second like, huh? She said, is
that a test? I said yes, shyly, and she burst into smiles and told me
how proud of me she was.
So I told her goodnight and went back to my bedroom and found Kate
Winslet in there sobbing her eyes out. I said, wtf? She said she was
scared because all the clocks said different times and she didn't know
which one was right. I told her it's alright, it's 1am, and eventually
she chilled out. We became friends and hung out a lot but I was always
awkward around her because...it's Kate Winslet. WTF is she doing here?
Then I awoke, and alas, it was a quarter after 5am.
This reminds me,
while visiting my hometown in February I dreamed I was in
someone's front yard at night, I don't know whose. I was anxious and on
guard but not really scared. Though I was confident I could protect
myself, I felt like something in the dark might blindside me and I
needed to be alert and careful.
I felt someone's breath behind me and spun around and it was my
mom, looking like she did when she was ill, with no makeup on and her
hair pulled back. I whispered, relieved and irritated, don't sneak up
on me like that, you scared me. I explained that we needed to be
careful, there's something out there, but I can save us, just don't
sneak up on me like that! I dont' want to accidentally hurt you or give
us away. She stayed behind me by the porch of the house, standing just
out of range of the porchlight, near tears and swaying weakly, she
said, why did you run away from me?
"I didn't."
"the last time I touched your shoulder, you ran away from me."
I saw a quick flash of what she was talking about. I had been
sitting in a wheat field looking at the sky when something warm and
dark washed over my face like a small thundercloud in front of the sun
, but I didn't see anyone there, and it scared me so I ran away. I
explained this to her, that I didnt' know it was her, and I'm very
sorry, but I didn't see her, so how could I know? I told her, had I
known it was you, I wouldn't have ran. Ok? Now stay back there! I'll
take care of everything.
She continued to look at me reproachfully and I was quite annoyed
because she should really know by now that I would never run from her.
it was also a very unsafe time to be having this conversation, as I had
to concentrate on my lookout for the both of us. I said firmly but
lovingly, again, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you. Please trust me.
I will fix everything. I will vindicate you. Just please, don't sneak
up on me like that again."