1 post from October 2009

I dreamed this a couple of months ago, but I still think about it sometimes. In my dream I received a letter from someone that started out with that, it said "It broke my back to write you this." It's a very haunting line to me for some reason. Maybe because it's so honest and blunt but sort of poetic without trying to be. Most people try to hide how hard things are for them, but it takes a lot more strength to admit pain I think, at least for those of us who suffer from a bit of a pride problem (d'oh).

 It doesn't feel like these words came out of my brain. It feels so much like a letter from someone else to m, that I think it must be from something I've seen somewhere and forgotten. As soon as I woke up I wrote out the letter as I remembered it from my dream. It's from someone I've met but don't really know personally.

"It broke my back to write you this, and please feel free to disregard. You don't know me and you don't owe me anything.

But my best friend's family lost someone and they can't afford the funeral. I love my friend and I promised I'd ask around, so I'm only asking for him. I never ask anyone for anything for myself. I'd never ask you for money for myself, but if you could spare some coin for the Lordolis's ?..

I had to ask, I hope you understand.

I didn't want it to be this way..."

I don't remember the rest of the exact words, but I know he spoke shyly of god, as if he were a little embarrassed to admit he believed in such things. And though he seemed sheepish about having to come to me with this, I was glad he thought of me. It was like his best friend was introducing us to one another inadvertently.