3 posts tagged “tornado”

I dreamed the other night that I was driving down the road when a tornado formed really quickly and very close by. There wasn't time to think, take cover, or drive away or anything. That sucker came out of nowhere and hurled my car about 50 ft across the road and land until it crashed against a tree, headlights to the ground and tail lights in the air and the top smashed in and pinning me. My car immediately started filling with dirt, tons of fast dirt, like what happened to Lois Lane in that Superman movie where he turns the earth backwards to bring her back to life. I woke up right before I died, but let me tell you something right the hell now. That was fucking scary. I had no idea what to do. I was drowning in dirt, but where the eff was I supposed to go? I was injured anyway, covered in blood and so on, and I couldn't feel my limbs. My right arm wouldn't work so I think it was broken, but the overwhelming terror numbed the pain.

What was I supposed to do?! Even if I got out of the car, the flying debris and the, oh, tornado, would tear me apart. Stay inside, and I drown. Checkmate!

Last night I dreamed that there were a bunch of people milling about outside of my apartment building so I asked them wtf they were doing, and they said a tornado touched down somewhere nearby and they had no place to go. So I invited them inside and let them wait out the storm at my place, even though it was clear and still outside. I was wearing a white dress I have, this sleeveless comfy thing that comes down below the knees. I forgot that I hadn't shaven my legs in ages so they were a bit foresty, but I thought the safety of these tornado displaced people was more important than putting on jeans first.

Well eventually they all left without saying thank you or goodbye. I looked around my apartment to make sure they didn't steal anything, and I didn't notice anything out of place. The next day one of my friends told me that one of my guests was Alex Tolkien and all he said about the whole ordeal was that he could see how hairy my legs were. I was upset that the scion of the nerds came away with that impression of me.

I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as "Alex Tolkien" though but who knows

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I've decided to give my Vox blog a theme, because I'm awesome, and who am I to shirk divine inspiration???!? And that theme is: My Dreams. Not my hopes, mind you - I mean that crap that plays in my head while I'm sleeping. I'm talkin' bout every detail of every boring, stupid, nonsensical, terrifying, and even filthy dirty thing. I will hold back nothing!

I'm always making my friends listen (or politely pretend to be listening? nawwww) to me talk about what I dreamed (dreamt?) the night before anyway and that isn't really fair to the rest of the world, is it, all the droves of saints and scoundrels who are also dying to know these things.

Actually, to be fair to me, sometimes I think I might have an issue called hypergraphia. I've got this incessant urge to write down everything that crosses my damn mind. I daresay that at times my emails have been out of control. I used to write pages upon pages of random shiz to friends and even people I hardly knew. Finally I made myself a blog so I'd quit bugging everyone who hadn't blocked my email addy yet. I started keeping a diary when I was 8 for chrissakes, where I would list things like what I had for dinner, then end most entries with "at night I went to bed." But ever since computers have taken control of my life, my handwriting has deteriorated to that of a four year old. Typing is way faster, and besides, there are lots of neat Vox themes that are dreamscapey. So here we go!

Last night, August 6th, I dreamt I was sitting here at my computer desk which is in my bedroom near a sliding glass door. I heard the wind pick up outside, all loud and whistley, and I wondered if a storm was a-brewing. The blinds on the window started blowing around even though the window was closed, that's how mother-effing windy it was. This was my cue to get in the bathtub in case there was a tornado. It was sunny outside though. Huh? I said.

There's a bathroom in this bedroom, and from the tub with the bathroom door open, I can see the sliding glass door. So I sat in the bathtub in the dark bathroom and watched the sunny window for signs that the trees were no longer bending over. After a couple of minutes I saw a swarm of something flying around out there so I went outside to check on it. It was a flock of millions of sea gulls flying around everywhere and carrying cellophane in their mouths. I stepped outside for a second and they all started swarming me like I might have food. I ran inside to get my camera phone.

Then I woke up.