3 posts tagged “work”

ran into S by the dumpsters, he offered me a ride home
seals in the river, otters. driver looked at them and nearly sideswiped a car. after awhile I was like, where are we going? he said plano. I said, well, you know, I live in austin...I guess I can catch a flight back
then we got on a bus right after leaving town. he sat next to a couple, I had two seats to myself across from them. he started looking around and gagging like he was going to puke. he leaned over that couple and they made EW faces which was really funny. finally he jumped over to my seats and found his laptop bag and puked into it next to me. I politely looked away, and had to plug my ears because the sound of puke makes me puke
later Gul Dukat joined the ride. it was like we were already friends, so we talked a little bit. he called his kids to tell them he was on a bus home but wouldn't get in until late. I wondered if he was going to try to put the moves on me. I wondered if I would go for it, because I am such a hard core trekkie. I would rather he put the moves on me instead of that other dude. after a pit stop I ended up sitting behind him, and the other dude was gone. we'd been on that bus all night and the sun was coming up. I kept singing songs to myself about DS9 but he couldn't hear me. i was amused nonetheless. I leaned forward to sing a little ditty in his ear and I noticed he was smoking on the bus. i was like, can you do that?! he said sure, and I looked around and sure enough everyone else was smoking, too. he gave me one and I smoked along. then the bus stopped and a ticket taker got on. Dukat grabbed my cigarette and put it out really quickly. I guess we weren't really supposed to be smoking in there. the ticket guy said everyone needed to pay a fair in the form of two checks. some guy got up and ran out the back of the bus. some older blonde woman who sounded like she'd been smoking for 50 years said, I ain't paying it. I already paid. The dude left and the ride continued. I started to wonder where the eff we were going. I looked to my left and saw Winehouse. I said, Amy, where is this bus going? She said Springfield. I said, what state? she didnt' know. that guy who got up and tried to run out the bus earlier said Missouri. I was like, man. I need to get off this bus. Then amy said, I wanna sing! I forgot how much better a friend booze is than water. I was like, amen sister. Then I woke up.

The past few nights I've had some very short, mildly entertaining dreams. I don't know man. I blame it on the store brand vitamins I started taking right before this started happening.

1. I was walking down a hallway in an office building, I think I worked there. On my way to the potty, lost in thought, and someone passed me and I almost didn't even see him because my mind was elsewhere. It was Barack Obama dressed in business casual and he said to me he laughs and says, you analyzing something? And as I walked in the bathroom I laughed because he startled me, and I said yeah, I was daydreaming.

2. I was at the Gap in the mall. I found two hot guys making out inside of a clothes rack. They disappeared and some guy that sort of looks like that guy who plays that Jonathan person in Buffy announced loudly "I suck more than just my thumb when I'm in church!" I laughed.

3. Conor Oberst and I were babysitting a little 2 year old boy named Jared who looked just like Jayden James Federline. Conor was holding the little kid, and he told me not to tell my friend's dad that his mom has a new boyfriend. (they're divorced) I was like, she does? Last time I saw her she said she didn't want one or something, like a bunch of dudes want her but will be getting none of that. (in real life, I did hear her say that a couple of weeks ago.) And Conor was like really? Huh. I don't know, I just heard that she had one and we're not supposed to tell anybody or something. And then I said, isn't his dad with some Canadian woman anyway? And Conor was like yeah, he doesn't really have any right to get mad if Linda is dating someone. Then he handed the little boy over to me and we all cuddled on a couch and watched TV.

THE END

Last night I dreamt that I was a little blonde girl in a pink dress playing
alone on the beach. It was a bit cloudy out, but not glary, so it may have
been around sunset time. I took my shoes off to run around in the sand, but
when I went back for them, the water had washed them away!
 
Then I dreamed I was in a cafeteria somewhere, I think it was the one in
Renaissance Tower in Dallas. I ran into the IT guy from my work there and
said hello, and he pinched my esophagus between his thumb and forefinger and
choked me till I blacked out.
 
Then I was in a house, I don't know whose. There were tons of people there.
I think I lived there with roommates but we had friends over. I took a
shower, and when I finished I saw an evil big cockroach crawl into a crack
in the wall. "The King of the Cockroaches," I whispered with the repectful
disgust one feels for a clever foe. I threw on some clothes and found him
again in the dining room of what looked like my current home, but still full
of people. One of those people was my friend/best friend's fiance Brandon
who must have just awoken because he had his thick glasses on instead of
contacts. I asked him to help me hunt the King of All Cockroaches and he
agreed. We chased it around but it was so huge that we were too disgusted to
squish it. Sometimes it would stop and sit up on its legs like it was
looking at us, begging for mercy, but we couldn't allow it to cow us. It was
only a roach tactic! So I found a red plastic cup and trapped the roach
beneath it. We could hear it scuttling around in there and we were terribly
grossed out, but at least it was over....or was it?! Suddenly the cup blew
up like a balloon and I could barely hold it on the ground to keep the roach
trapped. "He's emitting some sort of gas!" I shouted to Brandon, who
suddenly wanted nothing more to do with my Moby Dick roach. I think it
eventually got away.
 
Later I was reading a magazine in the living room with some people, but I
don't know who they were. Faceless roommates. Then the Beastie Boys walked
in wearing their orange jumpsuits. I wanted to flirt with them but coyly,
without being too forward. So I removed my top and sat quietly on the
fireplace, naked from the waist up and reading a magazine as if I didn't
notice they were there. After I awhile I got cold and asked someone to hand
me my shirt please. My tatas were much larger in my dream.